What’s your relationship with change? When you contemplate the concept of change, what thoughts, words, images, memories or feelings surface for you?
For most of my life I confess I was a little resistant to change – I was a creature of habit, happy with my routine and my stability. It was a happy circumstance that I fell into making a significant life change when I first came to London for a 2 month trip that turned into a 7 year adventure.
I discovered how liberating a new environment could be and how invigorating it can feel to do things differently. It was later when other change was thrust upon me, the pain of losing my dad, that I learnt that even unpleasant, heartbreaking change can be a profoundly positive catalyst, a fast track to unimagined personal evolution… (more…)
Despite the best laid plans, life tends to throw us inevitable curve balls. At one time or another we are all bound to be tested and really, there is no buffer against it. What we can do is learn to cope better during these tough times. I’ve discovered and road tested a few good strategies and that’s what week 7 is all about – the psychology of coping.
Your first strategy is to look for the silver lining of suffering. To learn a little more about Post-Traumatic Growth, take a look at my article here, think of the most stressful event you’ve faced in the last 5 years and try out the exercise in your Vitality Journal.
Stay tuned every day this week for a different coping strategy. Add these to your toolkit and you are sure to bounce back better the next time there’s a bump in the road.
Love to all,
Of the 12 happiness-boosting strategies I introduced in “Self-Care Part 1”, practising forgiveness can be the most difficult – but also the most life changing. Please remember that in choosing which strategies to work with, you need to consider appropriateness, life circumstances, timing and your personality.
Given the moral and ethical issues involved, deciding when to use the strategy of forgiveness is a very personal choice. There may indeed be some events that are in fact unforgiveable. Only choose to work with the strategy of forgiveness if it resonates for you.
Central to the notion of practising forgiveness as a method for boosting happiness is an understanding that we practise forgiveness not for the benefit of our transgressors but to free ourselves.
With this in mind, let’s take a look at defining it, understanding its value and identifying some strategies to develop your capacity to forgive if you feel it is appropriate. (more…)
A handful of dear friends of mine have recently experienced some extraordinarily challenging and painful life events which has prompted me to write this article. While most people will be familiar with the condition post-traumatic stress disorder far less well known is the concept of post-traumatic growth.
When I was facing the crisis of my father’s terminal illness coupled with the birth of my first child I turned to positive psychology – the study of all the things that make life worth living. In the growing field of positive psychology I found some tremendously valuable solutions and discovered the concept of post-traumatic growth.
Just reading about it at the time was a tonic to me and now 2 years later I can really see the blossoming that has occurred as a result – the silver lining so to speak. I hope this article may provide some help in the same way, perhaps in time to come. (more…)