Motherhood observation #5: Savour the good times. Share them with your partner. Sometimes they don’t hear enough of them. My husband sees me most often at the end of the day when my patience is starting to fray. I try to send a picture message during the day, capturing a happy moment I’d like to share with him – it gives him a better chance at a balanced perception of our day.
If I’m feeling stressed, sitting with Charlotte and pouring over our happy images can be a really replenishing thing to do. It’s also a lovely way to stay connected with friends and family scattered around the world.
Want to learn more about how to amplify life’s joys? Book in for a walk and talk with me and I will show you savouring in action. It’s the simplest way to top up your emotional bank account.
Put your mind to good use and it helps you move mountains.
Let it get the better of you and you carry the weight of the world on your shoulders.
Here are 5 ways of thinking or being that steal our own sunshine. Get to know this checklist, recognise how they manifest in your life and stop them in their tracks by using the suggested antidote.
Ways we bring ourselves down:
1. “Focusing on what you don’t have” This includes comparing yourself to those who you perceive as having ‘more than you’ (a sure fire recipe for misery) and involves taking the good things in your life for granted.
2. “Passing the buck”. The blame game, grudges, excuses and thoughts like – “I’m just wired this way”. “I was just brought up this way”. “I’m like this because this event happened or didn’t happen”. “I just don’t have time”.
3. “I’ll be happy when…” I have finished my studies… have a job… have my own house… get married… have a kid… have a house with an ocean view… when the kids have grown up… have a sports car… win the lotto…
4. “Ruminate, Replay the Trauma, Retell the Sad Story” Getting stuck in the same old track by overthinking, reliving painful events and talking about them over and over.
5. “I don’t want it to be like this”… pretending it isn’t, ignoring it, fighting the moment and wishing our life away.
Practice gratitude: Every day write down three blessings and state ‘why’ they happened.
Accept ownership and take action. Your happiness and wellbeing is your responsibility and no one else can do it for you. Be prepared to do things differently.
Learn to savour . There is joy to be found in every moment. Train your eyes to seek out moments of beauty, pleasure and excellence and learn to amplify them.
Distraction. Change the track. Think and talk about something else – something life giving! Remember, You are more than your story.
Practice mindfulness and acceptance. Get to know what lies within your boundary of control – if it is in your control, do something about it. If it lies beyond, make peace with it.
Suzy is available for counselling, coaching and private yoga sessions at her consulting room in Cammeray, Sydney, home visits, coaching via phone or skype, and ‘walk & talk’ sessions by appointment.
Contact Suzy at: email@example.com
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If this article resonates with you please share with your friends and loved ones.
Tonight I am having a “gratitude dinner” with my little family, acknowledging the blessings in our lives. We will set the intention to reminisce about past happy events, savour current joyful things and anticipate good things to come. It is one of my favourite things to do and a wonderful activity to share with your children and loved ones. Wishing you and yours great health and happiness.
Psychology of Healthy Eating Tip #5.
The principle behind sustainable healthy eating is to make good decisions MOST of the time.
So my favourite advice is, IF you are going to indulge, THEN SAVOUR IT!
There is more joy in a single savoured chocolate than in a handful gobbled with guilt.
Want to know more about savouring? Read this post: “Double your joy by learning to savour“.
Get in touch if you need some strategies to keep a healthy balance.
On this Easter long weekend we are given the perfect opportunity to stop and reflect on the blessings in our life and to express thanks with our loved ones.
Recent research in the field of positive psychology has shown that of all the happiness boosting strategies, cultivating gratitude is one of the most effective.
Let’s take a look at what it is, why we should practise it, and specific exercises to develop it.