Last weekend I had the great privilege of attending a friend’s wedding which turned out to be one of the happiest, most jubilant celebrations I can ever remember. Just reflecting on it now instantly buoys my mood.
It’s got me thinking what was it that made this particular wedding so joyful? While there are a number of different underlying reasons, the one that leaps out at me most was the quality of “savouring” evident in the whole day, from the beautiful religious ceremony to the stunning reception at Luna Park on Sydney Harbour.
There was much to savour in the present moment and our attention was skillfully directed to these things by the wise words shared by the priest during the ceremony. The MC also drew our attention to these things upon entering the beautiful reception venue and the priest’s blessing brought our awareness to the things to relish before our meal.
Each speech was a wonderful celebration of the joy and deep significance of the present moment, of happy recollections and reminiscing about the past and also an expression of hopeful and optimistic visions for the future for our friends as they embark on this new chapter of their lives together.
It was impossible not to be swept up in the gratitude and deep happiness of the past, present and future and we all felt incredibly lucky to be a part of it.
So what is savouring?
Savouring can be defined as thoughts or actions that create, amplify and sustain enjoyment. There are three different components to savouring – past, present, future. You can savour the past by reminiscing, you can savour the present by immersing yourself in the pleasure of the moment at hand and you can savour the future by joyfully anticipating and visualising what might lie ahead.
Why should we cultivate savouring?
The ability to savour positive experiences is one of the key ingredients in building a happy life. Research shows that different benefits arise from the different types of savouring.
Renowned positive psychologist and author, Sonja Lyubomirsky* summarises the research findings as follows: those that are skilled at creating a sense of pleasure from remembering past events tend to be more resilient in the face of stress, those that are skilled at savouring the present moment are less likely to experience depression, stress, guilt and shame, and those that are skilled at looking to the future with positivity are most likely to be optimistic in general and experience intense emotions.
Like many of the strategies I’ve been writing about over the last few weeks, savouring is a skill that you can learn and develop. It just takes awareness, effort and some dedication.
Some exercises to develop the skill of savouring:
1. Savour the ordinary. Choose to savour two enjoyable experiences per day – this can be something ordinary such as your walk to work, or you could choose to relish something from your daily routine that you might normally rush through. Spend at least a couple of minutes reflecting on the experience, trying to feel it as intensely as possible and let the experience linger as long as possible.
2. Savour with your senses. Indulge in your senses and be alive to the joy available to you whether it is in your morning coffee, the scent of your newborn, your favourite piece of music or the natural beauty available to you. Pay close attention and filter out any extraneous thoughts or stimulation that interferes with you taking delight in this moment. Train yourself to be on the lookout for beauty and excellence around you and don’t miss an opportunity to derive pleasure from it.
3. Savour with friends. Take the time to get together with friends and family and reminisce about shared pleasurable memories, revel in the joy found in this moment and share your visions of future events that you are excited about. Make sure also that you never miss out on celebrating achievements and successes with your friends and family and similarly sharing in their good news.
4. Hit the “replay” button – choose a happy event or experience and replay it in your mind, or in conversation with someone. Don’t analyse the event, just relish it.
5. Create a savouring album – think of this as your ‘happy journal’. You can include photos of your favourite people, places and things, quotes, cuttings, notes, letters, drawings. Keep adding to it to make sure it stays fresh and turn to this journal whenever you need a boost.
I hope you enjoy seeking out pleasurable moments to relish, recalling past ones and imagining future experiences. This should be the best homework you’ve ever been given and best of all, it is sure to pay dividends.
Love to all,
Suz xx
* Reference: ‘The How of Happiness” by Sonja Lyubomirsky.
Suzy is available for counselling, coaching and private yoga sessions at her consulting room in Cammeray, Sydney, home visits, coaching via phone or skype, and ‘walk & talk’ sessions by appointment.
Contact Suzy at: suzy@suzyreading.co.uk
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