This is a pivot point. I’m known for self-care … and I want you to keep nourishing self, I want you to keep being loving and generous with other people – AND I also want you to RECEIVE.
This is where the skills of self-advocacy come in. To advocate for ourselves, which is our ability to speak up on our behalf, to voice our feelings and needs – we need to take back our right to self.
It’s time to heal our relationship with self. Cast off selflessness! It’s ok to have feelings and needs! It’s ok to lean on other people. We need it not only for our wellbeing but the health of our relationships.
What does it actually mean to take care of yourself, when every version of self-care you’ve tried has felt like another thing to fail at?
In this episode, Dr Emma Offord speaks with Suzy Reading, Chartered Psychologist and author of How to Be Selfish, about what it takes to heal our relationship with self.
Not with a checklist or a spa day, but with the slow, courageous work of coming home to your own needs.
Suzy unpacks the gender conditioning that teaches women their worth depends on how much they give, why selflessness is a coping mechanism rather than a virtue, and why the resentment and anger so many women feel when they begin to say no is not the problem, it is the signal.
She also guides the group through two simple somatic practices that are more powerful than they look.
This is a conversation about permission; permission to receive, to rest, to be one person, and for that to be enough.
Connect with Suzy on Instagram: @suzyreading suzyreading.co.uk
This Voice Is Mine: The Unquiet Podcast is hosted by Dr Emma Offord, clinical psychologist and founder of Divergent Lives. For every neurodivergent mind that was masked, misread, or missed.
What happens when becoming a mother collides with grief, depletion, and the pressure to be everything for everyone?
In this deeply honest conversation, chartered psychologist and author Suzy shares how the birth of her first child coincided with her father’s terminal illness – a period she describes as “energetic bankruptcy.” From that collision of life events came a powerful realisation: “My depression served no one. My replenishment served everyone.”
Together, we explore:
Why motherhood feels so relentless
The “pandemic of not enoughness” affecting women
Why resentment is often unvoiced disappointment
The difference between selfishness and self-advocacy
Why self-care alone isn’t enough – we must also learn to receive
This episode is a permission slip for every mother who feels flat, disconnected, guilty for needing time, or unsure who she is anymore.
Because you can be a loving mum and an autonomous human being. And you still matter.
If the word “selfish” makes you uncomfortable… this episode is for you. In this conversation, Zoe is joined by Suzy Reading for a deeply reassuring exploration of what mothers truly need – and why self-care alone is often insufficient. Together, they talk about how so many women have been conditioned to put themselves last, why resting, saying no or asking for help can feel so hard, and how unmet needs often show up as guilt, resentment or snapping at the people we love most. Suzy shares the thinking behind her new book How to Be Selfish, gently reframing “selfishness” as self-advocacy – and offers simple, practical ways to reconnect with yourself, calm your nervous system and let yourself matter too. In this episode, you’ll learn about: Why self-care alone isn’t enough – and how learning to receive care changes everything How motherhood and conditioning pull us away from our own needs (and why that matters) Why guilt, resentment and “shouty mum” moments are signals, not failures Simple, compassionate ways to reconnect with yourself and remember that you matter too 💛 This is a compassionate, validating listen for any mother who feels stretched thin, disconnected from herself, or quietly carrying too much. Remember to subscribe to Motherkind — it helps more mothers find the show and keeps our community growing. Feeling different since becoming a mother? Get clarity on who you’re becoming now and download your FREE Matrescence Cheat Sheet If you liked this episode, listen to this next: 100s of self-care practices tested and the ones that work with The Self Care Club Connect with Zoe: Follow Zoe on Instagram Get Zoe’s Sunday Times bestselling book, ‘Motherkind: A New Way to Thrive in a World of Endless Expectations’ This Motherkind episode is sponsored by: Headline sponsor Wild Nutrition, the brand raising the bar for women’s supplements. Want to feel the Food-Grown difference yourself? Get 50% off for three months at wildnutrition.com/motherkind. Ts and Cs apply. For a £100 sponsored job credit, visit Indeed.com/ Motherkind Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
I thought this would be the perfect Healing 101 episode for January, so I’m joined by Suzy Reading, psychologist and author of Self-Care for Winter. We talk about why winter can feel so heavy on our mood, energy and motivation, how cold and lack of light affect both mind and body, and why easing our expectations of ourselves really matters at this time of year. Suzy shares practical, down-to-earth ways to support yourself through the darker months – from gentle movement and rest, to staying connected without overwhelm, and finding comfort in simple, accessible rituals that actually help.
What if being “selfish” was actually the most generous thing you could do? In this episode, I’m joined by psychologist, author, and self-care expert Suzy Reading to talk about her brand new book, How to Be Selfish. Together, we explore what it really means to prioritise yourself in a world that glorifies self-sacrifice, and how healthy selfishness can transform your relationships, energy, and emotional well-being. This episode is for anyone who’s ever felt guilty for needing space, struggled to say no, or found themselves constantly prioritising everyone else’s needs before their own. Suzy shares accessible, compassionate tools for reclaiming your time, your boundaries, and your sense of self – without apology! Let’s redefine selfishness as self-respect, and discover how caring for your own needs can be one of the most loving things you do – for yourself and everyone around you.
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