On this Easter long weekend we are given the perfect opportunity to stop and reflect on the blessings in our life and to express thanks with our loved ones.
Recent research in the field of positive psychology has shown that of all the happiness boosting strategies, cultivating gratitude is one of the most effective.
Let’s take a look at what it is, why we should practise it, and specific exercises to develop it.
What is gratitude?
Gratitude means many things to many different people. It can be defined as counting your blessings, giving thanks, thanking God, or a sense of appreciation and wonder. It is closely related to the strategy I wrote about last week – savouring.
Grateful thoughts help you to savour positive life experiences. You can think of gratitude as the antidote to negative emotions such as jealousy, worry and irritation, and is much broader and more powerful than just saying ‘thank you’ when we receive something we desired.
The practice of gratitude focuses on the present moment, on appreciating your life or this moment as it is and for what has made it so.
Why develop the skill of expressing gratitude?
*Research shows that people who report being regularly grateful are happier, more energetic and more optimistic. A person well practised at gratitude also tends to be less depressed, anxious, lonely and envious.
Gratitude boosts happiness in a number of ways such as helping us to savour positive experiences, bolstering our self-esteem, helping us cope with stress and trauma, encouraging kind and caring behavior, building social bonds, inhibiting our tendency to compare ourselves with others and what they possess, diminishing negative emotions like anger, bitterness and greed and by reducing the tendency of taking for granted the good in our lives.
Strategies for cultivating gratitude:
1. Gratitude journal – The pioneer of positive psychology, Martin Seligman, suggests a daily written record of three positive things that have happened in your day and also ‘why they happened’. To keep it fresh, productive and interesting try to vary the aspects of life that you choose to focus on or perhaps vary the frequency or the time of day you write in your journal, matching it with what best suits your personality and the demands of your daily life.
2. Contemplate or meditate – if you prefer not to write, you can meditate or reflect on positive life experiences. You can reflect on why you feel grateful and how your life has been enriched by these happenings. Alternatively you can identify a few good things that have happened in your day that you might normally have taken for granted and feel a sense of appreciation for them and their effects. You can also contemplate events or experiences that were not intrinsically pleasant but allowed you to grow, to see things with greater clarity or simply changed your life in some constructive way.
3. Counter ungrateful thoughts – Another option is to acknowledge ungrateful thoughts and consciously counter them with grateful ones or simply try to look at the situation in a different way, with a more benevolent perspective.
4. Gratitude letter or call – expressing gratitude face to face, in a letter or over the phone can be extremely powerful. Think of someone to whom you owe a debt of gratitude and express in concrete terms what you are thankful for. Be detailed about what they did for you and how it has enriched your life. Let them know that you often remember their efforts. You can also consider thanking someone you’ve never met personally but has influenced your life.
5. Gratitude partner- share with someone else the places, things and people that you love the most; don’t just talk about these things, actually share these experiences with them. You will find their enjoyment will amplify yours. Share your list of blessings with this person and ask them to keep you on the gratitude path if you lose the drive or forget.
Wishing you a safe and joyful Easter.
Love to all,
Suz xx
* References:
For a comprehensive summary of emerging research on gratitude and its effects on happiness see “Flourish” by Martin Seligman and “The How of Happiness” by Sonja Lyubomirsky.
Suzy is available for counselling, coaching and private yoga sessions at her consulting room in Cammeray, Sydney, home visits, coaching via phone or skype, and ‘walk & talk’ sessions by appointment.
Contact Suzy at: suzy@suzyreading.co.uk
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