Last week we took a look at the research findings on the characteristics shared by happy individuals. These are: optimism, self-confidence, extraversion and self-efficacy.
For suggestions on how to build optimism check out my article on dealing with setbacks. For a proven and very simple technique to develop your self-confidence, please read my article about self-talk. To boost extraversion and the enjoyment you gain from your relationships I recommend you read my article on building positive relationships.
Let’s now turn our attention to self-efficacy: a definition and tools to cultivate it.
What is self-efficacy?
Self-efficacy can be defined as a strong belief in yourself and the feeling that you have power and control in shaping your own destiny. People with high self-efficacy tend to see difficult tasks as exciting challenges to overcome rather than scary threats to be avoided.
They tend to deal well with setbacks, responding with a sense of resilience and healthy self-esteem rather than belittling themselves or seeing themselves as a failure or flawed. They seek to improve themselves by acquiring new knowledge and skills, seeking role models, and will persist until they get it right.
It is a characteristic that you can build through determination, hard work and focus.
How do you develop self-efficacy?
Seek role models: find role models in everyday life that accomplish the things that you aspire to. Subscribe to a blog, book a session with someone you see as a mentor, seek out likeminded individuals. The phrase, “if you want to soar with the eagles, don’t fly with the turkeys” comes to mind.
Find a cheerleader: everyone needs a supporter or even better, a support crew. Identify some people who believe in you, people who you trust will give you honest and constructive feedback, who will encourage you to move beyond your comfort zone and who will relish celebrating your successes.
Bear in mind that we need to find the right kind of cheerleaders – it’s not enough to just have people who only tell us what we want to hear. To develop self-efficacy we need to seek out those who will be honest with us and give us a little push to be courageous.
Learn to manage your stress: people with low self-efficacy often allow negative thoughts, self-doubt, bad moods and physical pain to get in the way of achieving their goals. When we employ strategies such as mindfulness, positive self-talk, understanding boundaries of control and exercising good self-care for the mind and body, we are better able to deal with the inevitable stresses of life.
Have mastery experiences: acknowledging the ‘wins’ along the way is one of the most powerful ways of building self-efficacy. This is achieved by breaking your long term or more significant goals down into smaller, manageable steps, mastering each step and celebrating these wins.
I encourage you to take a look at the values your hold and to think about what it is that you’d like to achieve in this life. You can use the strategies above to help you realise these aspirations. More next week on how to determine what’s on your “Golden” Bucket List.
Love to all,
Suz xx
Reference: “Creating Your Best Life” by Caroline Adams Miller and Dr Michael Frisch
Suzy is available for counselling, coaching and private yoga sessions at her consulting room in Cammeray, Sydney, home visits, coaching via phone or skype, and ‘walk & talk’ sessions by appointment.
Contact Suzy at: suzy@suzyreading.co.uk
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