Looking for happiness? You’re not alone
There’s no shortage of advice on how to find your bliss. From magazine articles and the internet through to self-help books and TV shows, it seems that everyone has a ‘3 Step Program’ for giving you back your mojo. But what happens when you’ve tried all the Top Tips but you still feel tired and discontented? Are you just not trying hard enough?
Perhaps the reason you’re not finding the right answers is because you’re asking the wrong questions. Perhaps the question ‘what will make me happy?’ is making you unhappy. How can you reframe that question in a way that will give you the results you’re looking for?
There has been a lot of research into the subject of happiness and one of the key findings has been that people with strong family and community connections are happier. This is no surprise to a yogi. The fundamental principle of yoga is ‘one-ness’ and the word yoga itself means ‘to yoke’ or bring together. If this is the case, it seems to me the question we should be asking is not ‘what will make me happy’, but ‘what will make US happy’. If relationships are the bedrock of our wellbeing, then our primary concern should be how to enhance the wellbeing of everybody in our community. As Hugh Mackay says in his book The Good Life, “The good life is a life lived for others.”
In yoga, Dukha (suffering) is caused when we believe we are different to others and forget that we all share a common bond (indeed, scientifically speaking, every living thing on earth is descended from a single original life form). This sense of separation is made worse when we experience challenging life events such as divorce, losing a job or falling ill.
Yoga is a powerful tool for re-creating that crucial connection to others through cultivating mindfulness. Mindfulness allows us to come into the present moment and connect with others in a meaningful way. I have found this especially true when working with students with chronic illness who often feel disconnected and isolated as they come to terms with their diagnosis.
So how can we cultivate deeper relationships with our communities? Simple daily rituals such as expressing gratitude, being kind or celebrating the achievements of others are extremely powerful. Coming together to support other members of the community is another important way to both give and receive the gift of wellbeing.
At Adore Yoga, we love to find ways of enhancing community connection and our attempt to break the Guinness Record for the World’s Longest Yoga Chain on 20th October 2013 is designed to do just that. Bringing people together to have fun while making a meaningful contribution to their community by supporting women with cancer and raising funds for Cancer Council NSW.
Next time you wonder about what will make you happy, widen your enquiry to encompass the wellbeing of your family, friends and neighbours. As Hugh Mackay puts it “ The crucial test of a life well lived is the quality of our responses to the needs of others.” Self nurture is important, but a fulfilling life is one that nurtures meaningful connection with others.
Join us for the World’s Longest Yoga Chain at 10am, Sunday 20th October at The Spit, Mosman NSW. Register HERE.
Nikola Ellis is the founder of Adore Yoga in Mosman.