What is overthinking? We’ve all been there: our thoughts like a hamster on a wheel, running round and round frantically, getting nowhere. Overthinking is thinking too much, consider it as self-focused rumination.
Lyubomirsky* defines it as “thinking needlessly, passively, endlessly and excessively pondering the meanings, causes and consequences of your character, your feelings and your problems”. When we are down, many of us believe that we need to focus our attention inwardly on our feelings and circumstances to find the solutions that might resolve our troubles.
What research is now showing is that quite to the contrary, overthinking causes a cascading of unhelpful effects. Ruminating on our problems and feelings doesn’t normally lead to clarity and insight – it is more likely to lead to distorted, pessimistic thinking and the amplification and prolonging of sadness. It is this combination of rumination with negative mood that can be so toxic.
So in order to boost our happiness and wellbeing we need to know how to shake off overthinking, and to reinterpret and shape negative thoughts into neutral or optimistic ones. Happy people tend to have a greater capacity to absorb themselves in more life-giving activities that distract them from negative, anxious overthinking.
Let’s now take a closer look at those strategies that shake off overthinking and shift your mood so you can be more creative and productive in your problem solving.
Strategies to shake off overthinking:
1. Eat something nutritious if you haven’t eaten for a while. You can’t think straight if you haven’t fed your brain. Often we get caught up in a whole host of unhelpful thoughts when we are just plain hungry.
2. ‘Distract yourself’. When you find yourself ruminating, immediately break free from it by focusing your attention on something else, anything that is sufficiently engaging to stop your mind lapsing back into unhelpful thoughts.
The more life-giving the activity the better (listen to your favourite song, move your body, speak to an uplifting friend, read something funny) but essentially it doesn’t matter just as long as you find it sufficiently compelling. Read my article on the concept of ‘flow’ for more suggestions.
Distracting yourself with something that energizes and uplifts you can also help you see more clearly the nub of the issue at hand and to be more creative in your approach to generating solutions.
3. ‘Stop’ technique: think, say or shout out loud to yourself “Stop!” or “No!” when you find yourself overthinking. You can also simultaneously visualize a red stop sign if this helps. Use this technique to muscle your way into thinking about something else that is productive or helpful or just different enough to shift your attention.
4. Give yourself 30 minutes a day to ruminate. If you just can’t give up the practice of ruminating, set a time limit and schedule it into your day, ideally at a time of day when you are not feeling anxious or sad. If outside of that time you find yourself overthinking, remind yourself that it can wait until the assigned time. Often you’ll find when you sit down to ruminate the compulsion may have passed or perhaps the sting has been removed and you can problem solve more effectively.
5. Talk to a coach or supportive friend. Often just saying things out loud and being heard can help us to see with greater clarity or to disentangle ourselves from the emotional charge of the thoughts running around in our head. Hearing that others perhaps share your feelings or experiences can help normalize your situation. If you choose this strategy, make sure that your friend is able to remain objective and doesn’t also start ruminating out loud with you! Also be mindful not to keep voicing negative thoughts with the same friend – you may end up wearing them out.
6. Write down your ruminations. You might find that this helps crystallize and organize your thoughts, and may help you detect patterns you haven’t noticed before.
7. Appreciate the bigger picture. Ask yourself: “Will this matter in a year?” If yes, “What does this teach me?”
8. Breathe or meditate. Both will help you create a sense of space between yourself and your problems so that you can choose to respond rather than react. You can simply say the words ‘inhale’, ‘pause’, ‘exhale’, ‘pause’ in time with your natural breath, allowing each of these four parts of your breath to be there. If you experience overthinking when you are trying to sleep, breathing into your belly can be an effective technique to calm your mind.
9. Identify triggers and avoid them. Write down a list of people, places, times, situations that can trigger overthinking. If it’s possible to avoid them, do. If not, consider working with a coach to find a way of dealing with these.
Once you are aware of the concrete problems that lie at the heart of your overthinking do something to overcome them. You must take action to resolve your problems. No one else is going to do it for you and there is no point in waiting for something else to change.
Take small steady steps and do something today. Make an appointment with a physiotherapist if you have chronic pain, book in with a financial planner if you are concerned about money, rewrite your CV if you are discontent at work, book in with a marriage counsellor if your relationship is the source of your overthinking, just do something.
Once you are in a good frame of mind, spend some time generating every possible solution you can think of to the problem at hand, choose one and do something to implement this solution.
Every little step will boost your mood, your self-esteem and your sense of agency.
Love to all, Suz xxx
* Reference: ‘The How of Happiness” by Sonja Lyubomirsky
Suzy is available for counselling, coaching and private yoga sessions at her consulting room in Cammeray, Sydney, home visits, coaching via phone or skype, and ‘walk & talk’ sessions by appointment.
Contact Suzy at: suzy@suzyreading.co.uk
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