We all have some of the following…
Words left unsaid, Deeds left undone, Thoughts unexplored, Items without a home, Feelings, half-felt, Physical aches unaddressed, Apologies or appreciation unspoken, Visions unrealised, Aspirations cast aside, Healing yet to be fully resolved, All those ‘nearly there’s…All these things, these incompletions, can be an energetic drain on us whether we are conscious of them or not. They can get in the way of us achieving our full potential and relating whole-heartedly to those we care about most…
When thinking about this concept of incompletions, an image came to me of our energy and power as being a kind of hose that we use to water the fruits of our labour. Every incompletion in our life creates a puncture in that hose, and the leakier the vessel, the less flow we have. So the idea is to take stock, see what you can resolve, and fill those holes so you can have a powerful flow to point in the direction of your choice, to nurture what you choose to nurture!
Take an inventory of all the things hanging around in your life that are in this state of incompletion – anything that is characterised by a feeling of being ‘not quite finished’, not fully resolved, in a state of ‘lacking something’. Observe your relationships and ponder, is there something you need to say for you to feel a sense of wholeness and resolution?
Observe your physical environment and acknowledge the things that you have been putting up with or simply just putting off. Do you feel at peace in the knowledge that you have done, or are in the process of doing, what is most important to you in this short time that we have?
The more incompletions, the more depleted and overwhelmed we can feel and the harder it can be to tackle our to-do list. So where to start?
- Write down your incompletions. (e.g. family, friends, home, career, finances, health, education, recreation, spiritual life) A great tip here, if something would take you only five minutes to complete it, just go and do it right away rather than write it down. While this might feel like an overwhelming task, actually writing your incompletions down and owning each item, can give you real clarity on whether these things do indeed need to be completed. It is better than having them all swirling around in your head, consciously or unconsciously, and dissipating your energy.
- Break it down and take action. Decide which incompletions really matter to you and remind yourself why they are so important and relevant to your life now. Some items will naturally drop away as a result. Are there some ‘shoulds’ or items that you carry on behalf of others that you can release? You can start with the most simple, or start with the most important; it is totally up to you. What’s crucial is that you take some kind of action. If you find yourself thinking about what needs doing, stop and actually go and tackle something from your list. Ruminating will not assist you.
- Remember the power of a clear and tidy space in which to brainstorm. If you are feeling stuck on the work front, tidy the space in which you are working. Clear your desk, get out the duster, file what needs filing, sort what needs sorting. If you are feeling stuck on the home front, get out the hoover, find a home for what’s hanging around and create some order. This order will flow into your relationships. My husband and I are in the process of ‘finishing’ the flat we purchased 18 months ago – this simple act of decorating, putting up shelves and hanging pictures has been powerfully invigorating and has really shown us just how depleted we felt by these things in our home that were left undone. It doesn’t have to be perfect but it needs to feel finished.
We also need to remember to our boundaries of control during this process. Once you’ve identified your unfinished business, work your way through the things that you can exert some influence over. Where things can’t be finished, it may be more a matter of making peace with it.
Be mindful too where perhaps it no longer serves you to “complete”, here it is a matter of letting go while acknowledging this and allowing yourself to experience closure. Remind yourself that it is ok to just let go of some things.
If resolving incompletions involves other people, find out whether they are open to discussing it with you and be prepared for them to have an emotional reaction too. There might be some issues that warrant professional support, so go gently and seek help if necessary.
No matter how big or small, this act of working through your incompletions puts you back into the universal flow of life. Be prepared that this may create some emotional charge and discomfort as you sift, hold things up to the light and resolve things.
I hope, despite the challenges, that you relish this process of creating more space in your life and enjoy a revitalised flow of energy. I’d love to hear what blossoms for you as a result!
Love to all,
Suz xx
N.B. Months and months ago a dear client of mine told me of this concept. I have been researching it for a while and mentally processing it at times that suit, and times that have been not so convenient (mostly at about 3am). For some reason, it is a topic that I had been putting in the “to-do” pile and the irony has not escaped me.
I can’t tell you how good it feels now to have finally sat down and recorded my thoughts. It is a sweet joy being able to celebrate the resolution of this incompletion!
Suzy is available for counselling, coaching and private yoga sessions at her consulting room in Cammeray, Sydney, home visits, coaching via phone or skype, and ‘walk & talk’ sessions by appointment.
Contact Suzy at: suzy@suzyreading.co.uk
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