We’re one month in to 2013 so now is a great time to revisit the intentions you set at the beginning of the year. If you haven’t set any yet, it’s not too late!
There are many benefits of goal setting – they help structure and shape your day, focus your attention and drive, give you a sense of meaning and purpose, develop time management and organisation skills and can also allow us to cope better with problems in times of crisis.
Read on for tips on the most effective goal setting techniques…
Lets revisit your resolutions:
1. What were the exact intentions you set? Are they clear and specific?
2. What actions have you taken to achieve them – actions, not just thoughts. If you haven’t taken any action yet, what will be different next month that will allow you to get moving on your goal? If there isn’t the time and space then perhaps you need to revise this goal or take a look at your priorities.
3. Have you achieved any sub goals and have these been celebrated – you must celebrate each achievement along the way! Identify sub goals if you haven’t already – these are the little stepping stones to your major goal. This can be an effective way of breaking inertia.
4. Have you seen a positive difference to the quality of your day since committing to these goals, or are you likely to once you are on your way to achieving them? Are they serving you?
5. Do these goals truly reflect what you most want to achieve? Are they your heart’s desires, or are they what you used to want? Are they what someone else wants for you? Allow your goals to evolve with you and really own them.
6. Are these goals appropriate given your current resources, time, energy, needs, constraints or circumstances? The best goals are flexible so take the time to revise if need be.
Now, let’s refine them.
Research* shows the best goals to enhance your sense of wellbeing are:
1. Intrinsic – goals that are personally rewarding and inspiring to you as opposed to ‘extrinsic’ goals which are a reflection of what other people want for you.
2. Authentic – goals that are rooted in your own deeply held values, interests and beliefs and those that fit with your personality.
3. “Approach” rather than ‘Avoid” – frame your goals positively so that they involve ‘becoming’ or approaching a desirable outcome rather than avoiding an undesirable outcome.
4. Harmonious – make sure that your resolutions complement each other rather than conflict or compete with each other.
5. Reasonable and flexible – take into account your current circumstances and opportunities
How to make it work for you:
You’ve chosen your goals wisely, you own them and you’ve fully committed to them in action as well as thought…
Consider enlisting a buddy for mutual support, someone that shares your passion or shares your drive to achieve something personally important. Alternatively make a psychological contract with a coach – a partner to brainstorm with, someone who will check in with you and keep you honest. Treat yourself to a coaching session instead of a massage or pedicure and nourish yourself in a different way.
Take baby steps, brainstorming potential obstacles and strategies to overcome them and remember to celebrate along the way.
Keep revisiting your intentions at defined intervals, refining them, prioritising them and reaffirming your commitment.
If possible, keep your intentions joyful; don’t let them become just another thing to do, let them be a statement of self-worth.
My personal suggestion: commit to boosting your happiness!
Passionately commit to at least one goal that directly addresses your happiness and give this a top priority. Consider it your daily self-care ritual: this can be as simple, short and cost free as connecting with a friend, savouring an everyday experience, moving your body, sitting still in meditation, expressing gratitude, practicing forgiveness, and many, many more strategies.
In my experience when I shifted my goals from things like ‘lose weight’, ‘cut down on chocolate/coffee/wine’ to committing to a daily ritual of self-care, I found myself getting into great shape and making better nutritional choices naturally. When you’re happy and well, negative thought patterns and unhelpful behaviours tend to drop away by themselves.
Committing to a self-care ritual can be even more important during times of illness and stress, when you are burdened with circumstances you can’t change or when you are time or energy poor. If you are interested in forming some happiness boosting goals, please get in touch.
There are lots of simple strategies that we can explore together to create your own personal self-care ritual. Let the fun begin!
Love to all, Suz xx
*Reference: For a comprehensive summary of research findings, suggested strategies for goal setting and other positive psychology tools, see Sonja Lyubomirsky’s book: “The How of Happiness”, a really life-giving read.
Suzy is available for counselling, coaching and private yoga sessions at her consulting room in Cammeray, Sydney, home visits, coaching via phone or skype, and ‘walk & talk’ sessions by appointment.
Contact Suzy at: suzy@suzyreading.co.uk
Follow Suzy at: www.facebook.com/SuzyReadingPsychologyAndYoga
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