I had an experience this week that totally knocked me off my centre and it served to remind me of just how important it is to have a toolkit of things that can help soothe and calm us.
While I have been writing recently a great deal about happiness strategies I think it is important to acknowledge that I am not saying that we should expect to find ourselves in a state of happiness all the time. There will be moments in our day, sometimes long stretches of time, where we are challenged by life and it is essential that we give ourselves permission to have what I call a ‘normal human reaction’ to life.
At times we will feel sad, angry, frustrated, lost, confused, anxious and all the other emotions that form the full gamut of expressions and this is ok. It is important to be real, to give ourselves time to feel and respond to what happens in our lives. While it is ok to have these feelings, we also need some strategies to help us soothe ourselves, to reconnect with our calm-abiding centre.
I’d like to share mine with you and hope that this might motivate you to articulate yours. If you are in a happy place right now then there is no better time to brainstorm because a positive mood enhances your creativity.
If you are not in a great place at the moment then it might help to sit down with a friend or have a session with a coach to help open your eyes to the calming and uplifting things that are available to you.
My self-soothing toolkit:
- HUG – nothing beats a hug for feeling held, loved and cared for. It doesn’t matter if it is your partner, your child, your parent, your friend or your pet. Let someone in and receive a cuddle.
- TAKE A SHOWER – imagine that the water is washing away the burden from your shoulders. Immerse yourself in the sensation of it and take a conscious break from what is concerning you.
- MY SAFE PLACE – I have a spot on the headland overlooking the ocean that I can go to rest in the beauty of nature. I can feel the majesty of the cliffs, the power of the ocean and know that the struggle in my life will pass. Going for a walk around this place helps to ease out my nerves, anxious tension or feelings of lethargy. Even an imagined visit to my safe place can be soothing.
- MY YOGA – yoga is my failsafe tonic. Whatever is happening in my life I can get on my mat and use movement, stillness, breath work, sound, visualization and meditation as a way to bring my body and mind back to an equilibrium. This is where the real fruits of yoga lie – beyond that of just physical exercise lies a genuinely therapeutic application. Book in for a session if you’d like to have your own personally tailored sequences.
- TALK – I make sure I am using gentle, nurturing self-talk. If possible I call on a supportive friend to talk over what’s on my mind. If I need it I will book in with one of the people whom I turn to for more structured support – a coach, a yoga therapist and a healer are my regular ports of call when I need extra nurturing.
- LISTEN, READ, or WATCH SOMETHING UPLIFTING – I have a few favourite books, movies and CD’s I turn to for solace. I read my gratitude and savouring journal – the journal I keep in which I record only joyful experiences. Gazing upon happy photos of loved ones helps me find perspective and I draw on my “angel” cards by Doreen Virtue* to help guide and support me.
- BREATHE – If I’m in a situation where I can’t do any of the above strategies, I use my breath to calm and soothe myself. I feel the four phases of my breathing: inhalation, pause, exhalation, pause, and allow my breath to be as spacious and relaxed as possible.
It is worth taking the time to write your own strategies down so that when you really need it you have some alternatives to consider. I hope you enjoy the exercise!
Love to all,
Suz xx
Reference: Doreen Virtue has a number of different Oracle Card Decks available. I like to draw one daily to uplift and inspire me or when I am pondering a particular question. If the idea resonates for you, check out: http://www.hayhouse.com/adv_results.php?author=Doreen%20Virtue&format=4
Suzy is available for counselling, coaching and private yoga sessions at her consulting room in Cammeray, Sydney, home visits, coaching via phone or skype, and ‘walk & talk’ sessions by appointment.
Contact Suzy at: suzy@suzyreading.co.uk
Follow Suzy at: www.facebook.com/SuzyReadingPsychologyAndYoga
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