Betrayal: to seek revenge or forgive?
Dealing with the aftermath of betrayal and the challenge of forgiveness often comes up in my coaching work. I recently came across a fascinating book entitled: “Beyond Revenge: The Evolution of the Forgiveness Instinct” by Michael McCullough which gives great insight into why we human beings have evolved both the capacity for vengeance and forgiveness and how we can navigate our response to betrayal. I’ve spent the last few weeks devouring it and I’d love to share with you the concepts I found particularly helpful.
In my experience as a psychologist, and having sought counselling myself, part of the therapeutic process comes in understanding what constitutes a normal response to stress, loss and painful events. I have seen that great healing can come with this understanding, further deepened when we allow ourselves to have a normal human response to life’s challenges. This book helped me gain a better understanding of our desire for revenge and our motivation to forgive. If only we all had plenty of time to sit and read, so while it’s no substitute for delving into the book itself, here are some of the gems that helped the penny drop for me on the subject of forgiveness… (more…)