“Normal” is Not What You Think
How is this for life changing – normal psychological functioning is not an absence of unhelpful thoughts! It is normal to experience anxious, depressed or disordered thinking at times. They are just thoughts, and it doesn't necessarily follow that you are then...
Put a ring around it: a tool to help you cope in times of crisis.
A week before the birth of my little one, my Father suffered a breathing failure, beginning a long battle with what was posthumously diagnosed as a rare form of motor neurone disease. He survived another 15 months, spending over 7 months in intensive care. Whether it...
How to stop sabotaging yourself
Stop self sabotage by harnessing the power of your PAST, PRESENT and FUTURE self. Are you trying to create change in your life? Have you set an intention that you are working towards? Do you have a vision you feel passionate about realising? Consider the concepts of...
Maybe you don’t need a shrink but could you do with a coach?
Why do people engage a coach? In a nutshell, it’s because everyone deserves to be nurtured and empowered to nurture themselves. Who uses a coach? ANYONE with the one or more of the following… a dream, a vision or a goal, a feeling of unrealised potential, a desire for...
A tool to simplify life
Patanjali’s Yoga Sutra 1.33 “By cultivating attitudes of friendliness toward the happy, Compassion for the unhappy, Delight in the virtuous, Disregard for the wicked, Our mind remains calm and undisturbed”. Centuries ago, the teachings of the Yoga Sutra’s were given...
How do you know if you’re ready for change?
This week I came across an interesting conceptualisation of the “stages of change” which might be particularly useful if you or someone you care about is in the midst of transition. Perhaps it might shed some light on readiness for change, the kind of support you...
When should you practise yoga?
When you’re feeling STRESSED – try child’s pose When you’re feeling SAD – try a handstand When you’re feeling TIRED – try legs up the wall pose When you’re feeling STUCK – try a twist When you need a BOOST – try a gentle back bend When you need to LET GO – lengthen...
What are your “Incompletions”?
We all have some of the following… Words left unsaid,Deeds left undone,Thoughts unexplored,Items without a home,Feelings, half-felt,Physical aches unaddressed,Apologies or appreciation unspoken,Visions unrealised,Aspirations cast aside,Healing yet to be fully...
What’s on your “Golden” bucket list?
I went to a fabulous workshop last weekend on a method of counselling called “Acceptance and Commitment Therapy”. I have come away with a real clarity on my life values and what I want to achieve in this lifetime. In the days following this course I have found a...
How to get HAPPY!
Last week we took a look at the research findings on the characteristics shared by happy individuals. These are: optimism, self-confidence, extraversion and self-efficacy. For suggestions on how to build optimism check out my article on dealing with setbacks. For a...
What do HAPPY people have in common?
Another interesting snippet of research this week examining the personality traits common to happy individuals. The best news is that these are attributes that we can train and cultivate – more on that next week. According to Caroline Adams Miller, a leading positive...
Characteristics of Happy Families
In my reading today I came across a great snippet of recent research from the field of positive psychology into the characteristics of happy families. I hope you might also find it interesting. It's inspired me to make some changes - perhaps it might get you thinking...
5 Proven Strategies to Improve your Relationships
I recently had the fortune of going to a Kitchen Tea event for a close friend and one of the ‘games’ included asking all the guests to write on a wooden spoon some advice for a long and happy marriage. I was grateful that the “Losada ratio” came to mind (more on that...
7 ways to cultivate the healing power of FORGIVENESS:
Of the 12 happiness-boosting strategies I introduced in “Self-Care Part 1”, practising forgiveness can be the most difficult - but also the most life changing. Please remember that in choosing which strategies to work with, you need to consider appropriateness, life...
What’s in your self-soothing toolkit?
I had an experience this week that totally knocked me off my centre and it served to remind me of just how important it is to have a toolkit of things that can help soothe and calm us. While I have been writing recently a great deal about happiness strategies I think...
Fill your cup with GRATITUDE
On this Easter long weekend we are given the perfect opportunity to stop and reflect on the blessings in our life and to express thanks with our loved ones. Recent research in the field of positive psychology has shown that of all the happiness boosting strategies,...
Double your joy by learning to SAVOUR
Last weekend I had the great privilege of attending a friend’s wedding which turned out to be one of the happiest, most jubilant celebrations I can ever remember. Just reflecting on it now instantly buoys my mood. It’s got me thinking what was it that made this...
How to BANISH overthinking
What is overthinking? We’ve all been there: our thoughts like a hamster on a wheel, running round and round frantically, getting nowhere. Overthinking is thinking too much, consider it as self-focused rumination. Lyubomirsky* defines it as "thinking needlessly,...
How to deal with SETBACKS
When in the pursuit of any personally meaningful goal, life will inevitably deal you setbacks. How can we develop the resilience we need in order to keep things in perspective and to get on with the task in the face of these setbacks? Seligman’s research on learned...
The concept of FLOW: What’s it all about?
Flow is a truly delicious state of being, one that you will have experienced at some point in your life. It may have occurred while you were immersed in cooking, connecting with your child, out in the surf, on your yoga mat, deeply engaged in conversation or simply...